its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
