So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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