No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
