I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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