oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize