So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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