I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
