At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I enjoy the company of your penis
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
