He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize