chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
