I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
