Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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