yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
In America we eat man semen.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The air taste purple.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
