I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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