No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
