things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize