I cut my penus on the lid.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
