I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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