I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
