Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
