i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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