You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
