And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
