i just google imaged poop.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
