did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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