Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
