ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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