Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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