just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
