If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
