I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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