and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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