Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
