He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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