sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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