if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize