just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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