Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
