I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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