i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
