I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
