So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Randomize
