thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize