just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
