around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
