i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
im six kinds of drunk right now
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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