Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
