I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
