your room smells of hookers.
And success
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
