Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
