A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
