the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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