I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
