nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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