its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
