If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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