I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
