I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
