well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
