doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am full of burrito and curiosity
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize