Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
