oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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