In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
