I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
